Running for My Hero: From Texas to the NYC Finish Line
My brother Zar has paranoid schizophrenia and is on the autism spectrum. He is my hero and the reason I am running with Team Community Access in the 2015 NYC Marathon.
I’m a mother to beautiful 3-year-old twin girls and a 14-year-old bonus-son (my name for my awesome step-son). I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor with a private practice in Texas called Mind and Body Counseling. I also work night shifts at Georgetown Behavioral Health, the local psych hospital, as an intake counselor. I have two older brothers, Mike and Nazar.
Nazar (he goes by Zar… because come on, that’s awesome!) is eight years older than me. He is what many would call a gentle giant… or a big ole teddy bear! Although his illness has rarely been kind to him, you will never meet a kinder man.
Zar now lives in an apartment building in Wisconsin specifically for the elderly and those suffering from mental illness. His apartment complex overlooks Lake Michigan – it is a beautiful building for beautiful people. There is NOT enough of this.
It took quite some time before Zar was able to understand his schizophrenia. He would get discharged from the hospital, take his meds for a while, feel better, start hiding his meds, and eventually stop taking them altogether. Back to the hospital he would go; repeat, repeat, and repeat again. When Zar was off his meds, he was quite a force. At times it was scary. When I was only 10 the police came, he went to the hospital, and never came home again.
During this hospital stay Zar confessed he didn’t trust himself to return home. He finally came to grips with having schizophrenia and committed to doing all he could to live a full and happy life. He loved us and wanted us to be safe so it was decided that he would try out life in a group home near our house.
Zar did very well in the group home. We visited often but he was very busy with new friends so we became small potatoes pretty quickly. It didn’t matter though – we were all just happy about his newfound freedom. Before long he was trying out his first apartment!
Since then Zar has become an advocate for mental illness, speaking at meetings for AMI, police departments, and High Schools. I attribute his growth to his amazing spirit, my mother, and the services available in Wisconsin.
When we were young, people used to tell me that Zar looked like Superman. It seems fitting, as that is what he is to me. He is living a great life now, hitting concerts with his girlfriend and going to local festivals. Although he can’t drive (he is a terrifying driver!) he is able to take the bus where he needs to go. He is always ready to volunteer where needed, whether it be helping to carry groceries or babysitting for a friend.
Zar will be 40 this year and I cannot wait to see what else he does with his life.
Now, Zar is able to recognize when he is unwell and immediately seek assistance. He still needs the occasional inpatient stay but tells his doctor and enters voluntarily. He doesn’t want to be sick again. He is so incredibly strong, and a real inspiration. He is very worthy of the pedestal I place him on, and I love to share his story because I want to show others how much better it can really get.
Like I said, I feel Zar’s success came partially from my mother. She is also my hero and the fiercest of Momma bears when it comes to advocating for the rights of her son and those like him. When Zar’s diagnosis was first delivered she took her moment to process, and then began researching what she could do to positively effect change. My mother sat as both the secretary and VP of AMI, and was appointed to the Racine County Long Term Care Committee. She also helped facilitate the building of South Willow apartments: beautiful, quality housing for individuals like Zar.
Mental illness is fairly prevalent on both sides of my family, so I am painfully aware how difficult life with mental illness can be for someone without an advocate like my mother by their side to ensure access to all the services they need. Easily accessible and affordable services are an absolute necessity.
This brings us full circle to the New York City Marathon and the reason for this blog. I have always dreamed of running this race. However, because my running skills are much more tortoise than hare, I knew I would not qualify by time alone. When Community Access selected me for one of their fundraising team spots I cried! Then, of course, I told Zar what I was going to go. My hero replied by telling me how proud HE was of ME. It doesn’t get better than that.
I have dedicated my career and life to helping amazing individuals like my brother Zar. I made a pledge to raise $3000 and will raise every single penny of it. It isn’t enough, but it’s a start. We have an opportunity together to raise awareness and foster change for the incredibly worthy cause of mental illness. Thank you!
